Stuff Introverts Say

A while ago, I hosted a Blab (live video chat) to welcome you to explore the topic of ‘what is real connection?’ The various people who spoke had interesting things to say. Some fairly quotable, I thought.

So, here are some of their comments. Stuff introverts say. About real connection and what it means to be an introvert. (Oh, and if you want to watch the recorded Blab, click here. Although, ew, I think they just changed their rules of access and you have to create a login to get in. Sorry about that.) 

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“Some of my most quality human interactions with people are spent in silence. There’s this subtle awesomeness about sitting in silence.” - Christopher

“It can feel very tiring and taxing to share or overshare….but at the same time, I also long for that sharing --- when it’s meaningful. Sometimes I want to listen and be that person for someone else, but I actually want someone to do that for me too. I want them to say, ‘I wanna know you.’ That’s where a close friendship can occur, when someone wants to know me as well as me wanting to hear and know them. I struggle because of how little that does happen.” - Dayna

Real connection, according to Daniel, is “when you’re able to sit in your own experience, and not explain or justify it or make it quotable.”

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“You don’t owe everyone . . . to say ‘welcome to my inner life’ is actually a privilege. To share your real self with someone is a gift, it’s an honour, not something we just fling about.” - Corri

There is “a profound depth of connection to sit and listen to someone else. . . I have a friend who holds the space where nothing is required and anything is possible. - Daniel

“We need more Hmm-ing in the world!” - Corri

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“I prefer to not have any friends than to have friendships that are meaningless.” - Carina

“I’m a better friend and better in groups when I’ve had time alone to connect with myself. When that’s happening, the room comes alive, things around you are brighter, you’re really engaged and present and deeply rooted. ~ I like living like that. That gives me the energy to be with people. And to be present with people and not just hoping for it to be over. It’s important to take time for that. ~ It’s what I like about being an introvert and I think it’s a really cool way to be. You still have a lot to give to people.” - Dayna

“I have to be mindful of not saying ‘yes’ to too many other things because I find that if I’m spread too thin, I’m not really useful to anybody.” - Steve

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“I think we can create that feeling of spaciousness, of tranquility, of emotional safety, we can create that more and more without even being in the woods – you can find that with your best friends – and that’s one of my great desires in life: to create spaces, even just on this Blab, where people can feel the sigh of relief, it’s not about performing, I can just be – moving away from the hyper-busy to an appreciation of tranquility and be-ing.”  - Corri

I just love being an introvert.” - Steve

"I feel most connected when I do share parts of myself, but that’s not often. Yet I find I can understand a person more if I just listen to them and not add my own input.” - Carina

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“I am curious about what other people have to say and what they think.” - Carina

“That’s a difficult question; I’d have to reflect on that.” - an introvert

“It seems like most people are extroverts. Maybe I’m just not meeting the other introverts in the world because they’re home, reading Quiet.” – Carina

“When I stay busy-busy and never reflect on life, that gets addictive, because it’s harder to go deep when you’re living busy and shallow. But once I’m in the depths, I never wanna come back up because it’s so much better there.” - Corri

“For most of my life I thought I was an extrovert because I liked that high of when you say something and someone laughs at it; but when I don’t take time to get alone, my brain just goes crazy. I can’t feel the depths of what it means to be alive anymore.” – Daniel

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To recap our (gosh!) nearly two hour live chat, here's a summary. Real connection includes

  • asking questions and fully listening to replies
  • being present
  • holding the space
  • being silent together
  • companionship that requires no explanation or pressure to prove yourself, to do or to perform
  • acceptance
  • understanding
  • honesty
  • having time to process on your own

Thanks for reading my blog. Are we friends yet on Instagram? Find me @introvertkingdom so we can share photos like the one below.

"Small human, Tall tree" - Mt. Douglas, Victoria B.C. - Photo by Corri Lobbezoo

"Small human, Tall tree" - Mt. Douglas, Victoria B.C. - Photo by Corri Lobbezoo